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De-depression - Chaintua Alozie

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October 23rd, 2013

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01:20 pm - De-depression
As my depression slowly alleviates over time, i'm finding myself increasingly drawn back to regular porn and sex. I've been thinking about it. I find that the general consensus why many depressed people are into kink is because they hate themselves, they want to be punished, they can only like someone who hates them. But i don't find that's the case when it comes to me. Depression is a terrible thing, it drapes you with a heavy shroud of numbness which prevents you from experiencing and feeling the world. This numbness is actually a horrible, destructive feeling that suppresses and annihilates all others, only the most extreme experiences and emotions pierce through it. As such everyday sexual power of girls, or sexual power of everyday girls (WHATEVS yo!) is simply too weak to penetrate the shroud and be felt, it has to be amplified, it has to go to an extreme with enough brutal power to exert an effect. I find this to be the main reason i was so heavily into kink, it was the only way i could feel the sexual power of women through my depression.

On the dream front, I've had a dream i was riding bmx bikes with Vanessa Bayer, and whenever we passed some other cyclist we'd say "Wash ya bike!". And in the mean time, between razzing cyclists, we'd practice saying it like a haughty Jewish grandma.

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[User Picture]
Date:October 26th, 2013 07:48 pm (UTC)
Interesting theory. I would also point out though (which you may already know) that although you're feeling something, consuming things that degrade other will ultimately only make you feel more depressed. Just another kind of drug.

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